Take A Report

You can see the reaction of three Perdue undergrads who were granted a preview of my weekly college football picks.  (For good measure I threw in a candid of the USC Song Girls on vacation in Hawaii) 

You’re welcome.

Which brings me to my picks for Saturday. Here we go:

USC laying 20.5 at Washington - I like the Trojans:

- Ohio State went to Washington and beat them by 20, USC will beat ‘em by 40
- UW has been bitched for 596 yds on the ground the last two weeks and USC has Chauncey Washington, Stafon Johnson, CJ Gable, and Joe McKnight to hand off to. So good luck with that. Huskies.
- USC can stuff the run (8th in nation) and the freshman UW QB has thrown 5 picks in the past two games.
- Tyrone Willingham is my least favorite black coach in college football

Michigan St. at Wisconsin (-7) - I like Wisconsin:

- Big 10 is wide open and the undefeated Badgers need to make a statement at home vs. a second tier conference team before playing PSU, Michigan and Ohio St.
- They won unimpressively last week against a hungry Iowa team desperate to avenge an upset by interstate rival Iowa State the weekend preceding.

ND gets 21.5 at Purdue and I like Purdue
- Going against ND was my only winning pick last week, so I am going to continue sucking on that milky teat ’til it’s bone dry.
- Purdue has scored 52, 52, 45, and 45 in their first 4 games… ND has scored 27 points, collectively, in their first 4 games
- Some argue the Boilermakers have yet to play a good team, and that trend continues this week.

Good luck and take a report.

-Large

I know Rutgers  is ranked #10 in the country, and I am happy for them.  Really, I am. 

But if I was a stud athlete coming out of high school who had to choose between scenic Piscataway, NJ or Tempe, AZ (home of the #25 ranked Sun Devils) … I would politely invite the recruiter from Rutgers to blow me, because my ass is headed out West!

[Maryland @ Rutgers (-18)]

[ASU (-2.5) @ Stanford]

Take a report.

-Large

The picture at left is from some online video that’s recently been the target of intense speculation, some spooge too, but mostly speculation.

People are trying to figure out if this girl is really Meg White, the drummer half of the rock duo The White Stripes.  (The identity of that man’s hand is not in doubt, it’s the fat guy from Crosby, Stills, and Nash.)

For those who don’t know, Ms. White is known by music fans for not being as talented as Jack White, her guitarist/singer husband or brother. Jack and Meg’s relationship, like her appearance in this cheapo porn is also shrouded in mystery.

What’s more, Meg White is known for her jugs. They are big and they sway around when she plays the drums. Everybody likes that.

Is it Meg? All those rim shots and a sloppy backbeat…yeah, that’s her.

Police are investigating the death of a man who collapsed after he was
head-butted by an armless man in a fight over a woman. 

Snellville, Georgia Police Chief Roy Whitehead said the two men, Charles Keith Teer and William Russell Redfern, scuffled Monday afternoon in the driveway of a suburban Atlanta home.

Police say Redfern, who was born with no right arm and only a short stump for his left arm, kicked Teer and Teer hit Redfern during the fight, which was due to long-standing bad blood over a woman who once dated Teer and now dates Redfern.

After bystanders separated them, Redfern came back and head-butted Teer one time.  Teer complained of feeling dizzy, collapsed, and died. (more…)

They’re holding cheerleading try-outs at the local college this weekend.

I don’t know… I might go again this year.  It would be the 14th year in a row… Could be cool to watch.

I guess…

You know, all the athletes and stuff… Maybe bring my new camera along.

Haven’t really decided yet.

Take a report.

-Large

I know some people find him annoying, but George Clooney is the fucking man.

The guy can have any chick on the planet, but he opts for some beauty who “just happens to be” a former contestant on Fear Factor.

You see, this savvy son-of-a-bitch knows that, if this broad was willing to eat a live scorpion on TV for the chance at winning 25 grand, then she’ll definitely swallow whatever he “dangles” in front of her.

You gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to out-fox Danny Ocean, my friends… Pretty early indeed.

Take a report.

-Large

Chicago , IL (AP) - A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cook County courtroom drama yesterday as he challenged a court ruling he felt endangered his welfare.  The youngster, having endured serial beatings from his parents, was remanded to an aunt in accordance of state law.

The seven-year old then shocked the court with numerous claims of abuse at the hands of his aunt. When Appellate State Judge Seamus G. Murphy then ordered the boy to live with his grandparents, the boy cited a litany of severe beatings from the elderly couple. 

Realizing the scope of domestic violence ingrained in this boy’s family, Judge Murphy took the unprecedented step of granting temporary custody of the boy to the University of Notre Dame’s Football Team; whom both judge and boy deem a non-threat to beat anyone.  Take a report. -Large

Former Family Ties star, Tina Yothers, gave birth to a healthy baby boy in Orange County, CA yesterday morning.

Insiders are already saying this kid may be a lock for ugliest celebrity baby, ever.

Co-star, Michael J. Fox is quoted as saying the child, “Looks like a fucking p-p-p-pit b-b-b-bull.” (sorry about that one)

Take a report.

-Large