Had a cab driver from Peru take me uptown last week. I must have a kind face, because he talked for the whole 20 minutes, and I could barely understand what the fuck he was saying because of his thick Spanish accent.
At one point in the conversation I think he began talking about the upcoming elections, so I politely asked him, “By the way, how long have you been in this country, amigo?” And he replied, “Almost 40 years.”
Forty fucking years and you still talk like your selling turquoise jewelry off a blanket on the streets of Guadalajara? How is that possible? I went away to college for 4 years, and lost 90% of my Brooklyn accent**. How can you live in a country for 40 YEARS and not have a better grasp of the dialect?
You want to know why this shit happens? Because we fucking let it. But I say we put a fucking stop to it right now. Two suggestions:
1.) Next time you are in a car on the way home from a client dinner, and the driver proceeds to talk Hindi on his cell phone, just tell him, “Listen, bro… You either speak English while I’m in your car, or you stay off the phone and shut the fuck up. I dont know what you and your brother are talking about, but I get the feeling it involves commercial flights and shoe-bombs, so just quit it.” I really don’t think it’s too much to ask, because a couple of guys talking in a different language in front of one guy who doesn’t understand is just plain rude… Plus you’re in America, so speak American, douche.
2.) And I say we take away people’s drivers licenses until they can pronounce the sentence- “Thank you, man.”, without it sounding like- “Dank joo meng.” Maybe the motivation of keeping their license will cause people to speak more English at home and hopefully assimilate into our society a little more.
I’m the son of immigrants, and I see nothing wrong with maintaining some of the culture of your ancestors, but language isn’t one of them. You want to live in this “Melting Pot”, then you gotta speak the language. Otherwise you can get the fuck out.
Take a report.
** Challenge. – admin.