Take A Report

You ever notice that ugly white guys sometimes hook up with attractive Asian broads, but attractive Caucasian women are never seen with ugly Oriental guys?

I have a good friend who is the swarthiest of Greeks, but he’s married to the sweetest Japanese broad you’d ever want to meet, and has a couple of beautiful half-breed kids. You never see the inverse of that. Is it because the Asian guys have that “little prick” stigma? Or are Asian chicks just more drawn to meth-labs than white girls are drawn to math-labs.

The obvious exception to this rule is Tiger Woods’ wife. But Tiger is wealthy (which ALWAYS evens the playing field), and he’s only half-Vietcong, while the other half is pure brother. So I’m pretty sure Elin is equally attracted to his huge wallet AND the old “Louisiana black snake”.

Take a report.

-Large

I’m not gonna lie to you. If there is a Prince song on the radio, chances are I am leaving it on. I don’t own a single Prince album, but I think there’s a VCR copy of the movie Purple Rain somewhere in my attic. That being said, this week’s Ass From The Past is Apollonia Kotero…

You would think that banging Prince would carry a hepatitis-like stigma, but that little cock-sucker has taken down more sexy Hollywood trim than I’m prepared to admit. Shit, maybe I’ll change my name to a symbol.

Apollonia is now 48, still wears inappropriately tight clothes, and is trying to make her way back into movies.

Not a chance in hell she makes it back the business, but I think there’s an off-chance she could wind up blowing Jeremy Shockey at a charity event or something… this would be a nice thing for both of them.

Either way, Appy, congrats on AFTP, and take another report.

-The Artist Formerly Known As Large

Spent a good portion of the weekend in front of the computer, so you guys should have plenty of shit to look at on what should be a slow vacation week.

You’re welcome in advance, and take a fucking report.

-Large

Ah, yes. The flowers in bloom, the open-toed sandals, and the sunshine reflecting of the ledge… All indications of this picture being taken on a lovely summer’s day.

But I don’t know… I have a hunch that it was “unseasonably cold” for this shoot for some reason (actually 2 reasons). Call it “male intuition”, I guess.

Enjoy your weekend and take a report.

-Large

Might as well leave now… I hear the Garden State Parkway is flying.

Six hours in your car for 3 hours on a beach full of greasy gindaloons… Sold to you.

Take a report.

-Large

You did it. You finally did it!

Picture day was a blast. WeeHead-BigPants & Dazed-By-Reports were very easy to shoot. The rest made a run for it.

-admin
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These weekends. Sometimes I feel like they’re not even my own… Case in point: On Saturday I have my little brother’s high school graduation…

And on Sunday my little sister is in a wedding party…

Next thing you know, it’s Monday.

Take a report.

-Large