LL turns 22
I can’t believe she’s only 22. She was a nobody right up until she did that flick Mean Girls in 2004, and now my head hurts just trying to think of how much cock and cocaine she’s ingested since then.
I used to find her whole “young-busty-redhead” thing attractive (the picture above is her “top tick”). Then it seems like she sold her innocence to the highest bidder, and now she’s just a no-talent petri dish… Sold to you.
If there was a Hall of Fame for no talent Hollywood whores, this chick would have to be first ballot, no? As a matter of fact, I’m gonna start an official Takeareport.com Hollywood Whore Hall Of Fame, and make this clam the first inductee.
Congrats, Lindsey… To celebrate, why don’t you go get an 8-ball and call up Wider Vilderama?… And then go shoot yourself in the face.
Take a HOF report.
-Large
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:50 am
Ahh there you go Large, a NICE, high-quality TAR report. This is FO SHO her top tick, in fact I thought it was an impersonator. Damn, now she hangs with a lesbian DJ who is uglier than sin, what a waste. Can I nominate Shannon Elizabeth (I know, who the hell is that, let me make it easy, the TITS from American Pie) for the 2ns nominee, she could have at least done Playboy. She was a one shot pony, peaked in her film debut.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:58 am
i blame the parents.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:58 am
Cute, chubby, pre-coke, pre-cumdumpster LL is jerk-worthy.
But, Hollywood is a fucked up place.
With enough makeup and digital cropping you can make any slut look flawless.
You can polish a turd all you want, its still a turd.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:58 am
I still love her with a stalker’s intensity and persistence.
I’ll quote a priest (who surely was quoting someone else): “Those who drink a fifth on the 4th may not go forth on the 5th.”
God Bless America.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:01 am
The reason I am happy LL is a coke fiend, is it makes me think as long as I have an 8 ball handy I could fuck her. Something tells me this girl will do what ever it takes to “keep the party going”.
And that is why I love her. Well that and those titties
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:05 am
And the most fucked up part is her Mom wants to be a cum dumpster wanna be of her ruined teen daughter? WTF Mom, get your own cocks n’ coke dude!?!?
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:07 am
The pile of used tissues on the headboard is a nice touch. Lots of DNA samples there.
Her career is based on Bolivia allowing breast implant surgery at age 15. That’s the best pic I’ve ever seen of her.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:10 am
Pounded like a piece of Tuscan veal:
Ok, Linds, if you must you can watch me REPORT
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 am
The first cougar to gain said status by her 25th birthday. See her at Honu in Huntington at midnight on random weekends. Slip her too many coconut martinis and you could be an overnight celebrity too.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:23 am
This girl was my top pick for fastest flameout ever…then Amy Winehouse came along. Put that zombie next to LL and she’ll instantly look 10 years younger…so she’ll lool like she’s 35 and haggard instead of 45 and haggard.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:26 am
She might also go in the Hall o’ Fame as rookie of the year for being WTF Wednesday, AND AFTP before 25, talk about a Double Double (which you KNOW she’s into)
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:32 am
I don’t care what anybody else here posts, I still have a bid.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:33 am
Definitely one of the trashiest Hollywood families ever . I think its cool how her parents got their own reality TV shows-Love Dog the Bounty Hunter. [The Dog got shafted. That guy was cool.]
I don’t think she has ever been HOT, slutty definitely. I think she’ll be here on WTF happened Wed before she ever shows up on AFTP.
I would crop dust her.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:37 am
Double double with plenty of cheese. I love how her whore mom is trying to replicate LL with her 14 year old daughter, the other daughter…think about how many gangbangs and eight balls she will have to do to stay ‘relevant’ in her mind.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:38 am
She’s such an awesome candidate to drop out of Hollywood and bring porn back to the mainstream. A reverse career path of Tracy Lords.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:39 am
congrats LL on your hall of fame bid…. in 20 years (if she makes it) she will be in the hamptons getting divorced to her 5th husband
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:43 am
There are two young ladies that i consistently imagine lambasting, young Lohan is one and then there is this addictive, breast to the nines, whooah that im not ashamed to admit i bang my couch to.
http://www.christina-model.com/home.html
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:44 am
the terd of July
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:45 am
i hope she keeps spiralling downward until she is forced to appear in a bukkake video, smiling as she wipes the spackle out of her eyes and another dude lines up to add another layer of it
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 am
Aggressive buyer! I would blast that ass in a heartbeat. Put her up against any of those other Hollywood young diva ho’s…. Britney, Paris, Nicole Ritchie etc and LL is still the one that I’d wanna bang (a night in Paris would be quite fun too).
Yes they have issues, but think back to when you were 22 and imagine if you had the kind of money they have. I’da had my head in a pile of coke every night as well.
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:58 am
Hey DICKIE keep your ugly chicks to yourself please, noone needs any more advertisements, especially for ugs like that. She should pay for people to look at her!
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:59 am
MINE
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 am
Dickie, that’s the same chick from large’s disney post. http://takeareport.com/2008/06/05/the-only-magic-in-that-kingdom-was-vanishing-money/#comments
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Hey, sphincter shrinker, great linked picture of Loindsay applying makeup in that pose. Thank you, my friend.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:10 am
by the way, anyone posting today, especially after lunch, is clearly not a big swinging dick as they’re all off to the shore/mountains/casinos already. nothing but backup coverage on the sell-side and junior traders on the buy-side today. going to be painfully slow. hope we get more skanks on TAR to pass the time.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:10 am
lohan can take a freckle covered report. I’d love to spackle those funbags, but avoid entry unless double bagged. wonder if there are freckles on the inside tho?
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:13 am
The inaugural class for the HOF has to also include Brittney. My guess is future classes will include Miley Cyrus and Hillary Duff.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:13 am
she would be the best piece of ass 90% of the dudes posting on this site have ever tagged….FACT
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:13 am
Here are a couple others: Britney Spears, and Dana Plato (the now dead chick from Different STrokes).
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:17 am
Speaking of 22 year olds, someone is going to get it down in Manasquan tonight…
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:20 am
yea more posts today… early close bond market.. need to pass the time
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 am
love that secret decoder ring
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 am
stick my proscuitto right between those melons for a nice HOF feast!!! Anybody for an 8-ball?
Nice work, as always, Large.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
I’d fuck the Gin and Tonics out of her.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
I’m sorry…I may get some flack for this.
Size Buyer. I’m listening.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
Drew Barrymore gets a nod, even tho Locum BLOWS her away, and my Cumback player of the year goes to Tatum…..
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:45 am
talk about Kill shots, you just broke my cock Doc, c’mon, Tatum? You can’t come back when you never were…
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:51 am
*Insert funny 4th of July comment about Deputy here*
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:52 am
Kidding
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:55 am
CrazyCraig. Passive aggressive=gay.
If you want to start it back up with him, do it.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:55 am
CC. Kidding=even weaker.
Come on, man. You’re better than that.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:57 am
Careful or CC will want to start a pillow fight. But maybe he’ll make you hot chocalate after it’s all over.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:00 am
Its ok I just dont want to ruin anyone’s weekend by making them fly off the deep end into a weekend filled with chicks with dicks and enough coke to kill a mexican.
Thats what he did last time if you didnt hear.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:02 am
As we salute this great country this weekend, we remind ourselves what our brave soldiers, sailors and Marines are fighting and dying for; coked-out Hollywood neander-sluts only too happy to criticize the country that gave them the opportunity to make millions with nothing but a pretty face, a set of faux-bags and a voracious appetite for cock. F*ck you Double L. And f*ck the rest of you f*cking GED-educated, over-rated f*cking embarassments. And Take an American Report. Happy 4th.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:03 am
Crazy- Don’t burn yourself with a sparkler this weekend.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:04 am
Sphincter,
You’re right - I got caught up in the pre-pubescent cock-grinders who are smoking rock. I’ll try not to let it happen again……
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 am
I have some roman candles and some cherry bombs, should be a good 4th.
Oh yeah and I am in a 50k race for charity this weekend
So I won’t be making hot cocoa or pillow fighting unfortunately.
BUT Sex and the City is at the dollar theater so I might catch an encore.
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:33 am
MT well said
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:38 am
Crazy Craig won’t have a pillow fight, he’ll have a pillow bite.
C’mon boys, Randolf? Mortimer? Get back in the ring and Duke and Duke it out…Deputy, Crazy Craig is on some other blog saying that you blew him in High School while “experimenting”…true?
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:48 am
CHALLENGE LARGE!
THESE ARE THE BEST ONES BY FAR
July 3rd, 2008 at 10:51 am
http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_5502
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 am
Big buyer….no one marries a virgin and I bet she can make you forget your own name.
Don’t know her but here is some advice to LL…get a friend, a real friend not a hanger-onner. Someone who is going to tell you NO, since your parents are consumed with themselves it is time for you to take the path less traveled. If you need evidence of people who have NO true freinds here is a short list:
Ted Kennedy, Liza Minelli, Charlie Sheen, Denis Rodman, Willian Jefferson Clinton, Marilynn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, A-Rod…..bad and odd behavior….now you know why.
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:57 am
She would be a good first inductee…….but I’d still fuck the wayward spray out of her.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
The Spears Sisters come in close second.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Love red snapper!
July 7th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Lindsey Lohan hot? Yeah, call me when she starts doing pornos. Tori Lane already blows her away. Pun intended.