Hey mang

Had a cab driver from Peru take me uptown last week. I must have a kind face, because he talked for the whole 20 minutes, and I could barely understand what the fuck he was saying because of his thick Spanish accent.

At one point in the conversation I think he began talking about the upcoming elections, so I politely asked him, “By the way, how long have you been in this country, amigo?” And he replied, “Almost 40 years.”

Forty fucking years and you still talk like your selling turquoise jewelry off a blanket on the streets of Guadalajara? How is that possible? I went away to college for 4 years, and lost 90% of my Brooklyn accent**. How can you live in a country for 40 YEARS and not have a better grasp of the dialect?

You want to know why this shit happens? Because we fucking let it. But I say we put a fucking stop to it right now. Two suggestions:

1.) Next time you are in a car on the way home from a client dinner, and the driver proceeds to talk Hindi on his cell phone, just tell him, “Listen, bro… You either speak English while I’m in your car, or you stay off the phone and shut the fuck up. I dont know what you and your brother are talking about, but I get the feeling it involves commercial flights and shoe-bombs, so just quit it.” I really don’t think it’s too much to ask, because a couple of guys talking in a different language in front of one guy who doesn’t understand is just plain rude… Plus you’re in America, so speak American, douche.

2.) And I say we take away people’s drivers licenses until they can pronounce the sentence- “Thank you, man.”, without it sounding like- “Dank joo meng.” Maybe the motivation of keeping their license will cause people to speak more English at home and hopefully assimilate into our society a little more.

I’m the son of immigrants, and I see nothing wrong with maintaining some of the culture of your ancestors, but language isn’t one of them. You want to live in this “Melting Pot”, then you gotta speak the language. Otherwise you can get the fuck out.

Take a report.


** Challenge. – admin.

45 Replies to “Hey mang”

  1. We got to stop pressing 1 for English and go back to the way it used to be when our ancestors came over here. If you didn’t learn English you were embarrassed and took English as a 2nd language classes until you SPOKE the language, then you got a job better than washing dishes.
    No Se English, Well No SE Money.

  2. Perhaps this accent is a secret bastardized form of the eurotrash accent and the “Latinotrash” is attempting to utilize it to pick up those nasty, white, acid washed jeans wearing mall skanks you see them with…just a thought. If it works for John aka “Jean-Pierre” at Cipriani’s downtown why can’t Hector give it a try on Queens Blvd?

  3. Please don’t make me go back to Paris, the Muslims burn more things there than Detroit after a professional championship.

  4. let’s kill all the gay commie terrorist foreigners!

    stick to the tits and ass, large. tits and ass are loved globally, but nationalism is for fascists.

  5. FuckFAce get a GRIP on reality.
    I Would vote for the 1st person who said they want to put a wall around the country and give the illegals 1 week to register or risk getting shot for trespassing. Then have the balls to make an Amendment making English the Official language.
    They can come in the country as fast as they want, just do it legally and learn

  6. Large – I agree with everything you said with the exception of “Plus you’re in America, so speak American, douche.” Speak American huh? Perhaps speak English?

  7. you guys are comical. we live in new york, which has been multilingual since the beginning. if you want to go all team america, move to anywhere else in the country (except california, texas, florida, arizona, or new mexico).

    and to think some of you are in finance. do you have any idea the repercussions of cracking down on illegals to our economy? we rely on them to do the jobs that are “beneath us” at ridiculously cheap labor rates.

    more locally speaking, your deli prices will all go up, there will be no fluff-and-fold laundry or dry cleaning, you will have no housekeeper, and delivery of all kinds will come with a surcharge. those non-english speaking “trespassers” are making shit cheap and convenient for us. you should thank them for getting paid nex to nothing for cleaning your toilets and doing all the other crap you don’t want to do.

  8. do you live in the city, tim, or just work here and then drive home to jersey?

    illegals make my life better. it’s purely selfishly motivated, but i don’t want them to leave and have to be replaced by health-insured, minimum-wage earners.

    when your symbolic patriotism starts costing me money and inconvenience, i get annoyed.

  9. fuckface, you sound like the typical 80’s trader who was to busy suckin dick and takin lines off some dudes cock behind a bar to raise your kids, so you hired a nanny to do it. get a fucking clue. the “cheap” labor you refer to is detrimental to US business owners who have or had jobs dealing in construction and the like. its people like you that will pay some jerk off border jumper for the quick and dirty rather than supporting a local home builder or mason.

  10. Fuckface your missing the Large mans point…nobody wants to get rid of all the illegals…we just want them to educate themselves, learn the language and a trade..make a better lives for themselves and their families….the American way. Learning the language and getting your papers is the first step on the road to that American Dream.

  11. BDMFA…actually if you read above, most seem to want to get rid of the illegals.

    And they’ve convinced me they’re right. Sig heil!

  12. Thank you Capt. L Mandrake for this link.

    Some more: TAR is like a clearinghouse for angry white men. Has anyone not noticed the Larry the “get ‘er done” Cable Guy movie ad the last three weeks? Hollywood has us pegged.

    I’ll probably see it, twice if it’s really bad.

  13. I live in the city fuckface. you should be banned from take a report. you dont deserve it. and like everyone else agrees on here we love immigrants in the US we ALL are some sort of immigrant. we dont like cocksuckas like you who dont like our national launguage. Suck it.

  14. All the Dems need to see this. Obama has voted to make English a second language in the US.

    Larry the Cable Guy-real name Dan Whitney hasn’t been funny in almost 8 years. He’s using the same jokes he did on our radio station back then.

    Lastly, do you think the girl in the I.D. photo likes it when her boyfriend slips those fingers with the dirt under his fingernails in her “balloon knot”?

  15. The only thing worse than “Me no speaky no english” and people who sympathize for them are people who walk painfully slow.


  16. learn the language and move the fuck on period, but agreed with Mr. Mcnut, i live and jersey and havent cut my fucking lawn since i was in high school, i dont want to see these hard working mules leave anytime soon.

  17. Granted Large is only pushing for them to learn our damn language when they’ve lived here a while (a hell of a lot faster than 40 years would be nice), but all the jingoists in here have taken it to the next level. “Build a wall around the country” blah blah.

    There’s nothing wrong with multilingual people. In fact, unilinguists are unsophisticated and pathetic – note, this refers both to the morons who are so pro-English/American and anti-everything else that they developed into uncultured hipocrits, AND the shameless immigrants who have been here several years and cannot speak the language for shit.

    I say leave our laborers where they are and just take advantage of the ones who cannot speak the language!

  18. It’s not about language for me; it’s about the need for people to hear themselves talk. We should just shush. I wish there were a meter that tallied all the baseless, meaningless shit people spew all day and if we go over the limit a team of agents wait for us to get home, pull out our tongues and make us watch them feed it to a piglet. Then we’ll see who’s the fuckin big mouth.

    Present company excluded.

  19. FF, I agree I would prefer illegals raping the system and shitting on our language, than have to shine my own shoes….fluff and fold your own laundry you lazy biotch

  20. Silky, you seriously need to base your statements with some facts before you talk about who voted for what.

    Obama did not vote to make English the 2nd language in the U.S. You are referring to the Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act of 2007. A very, very small “part” of this bill would make English the official language. Another part stated that the government wouldn’t have to provide services in any other language than English. Thirty-three other senators voted against the bill (4 didn’t vote).

    The implications of passing this type of bill goes way past making english the official language. Take a look at http://www.opencongress.org/bill/110-s1348/show . The bill covers everything from border security, path to citizenship etc.

    Trivializing Obama’s vote down to “he voted to make English the 2nd language” is flat out ignorant.

  21. 1) AMEN, LARGE, well said!

    2) JAMESON –
    before you call yourself “multilingual,” learn to spell in at least one tongue, you imbecile. “Hipocrits?” (sic)

    3) TIM – a pussy name for a pussy-boy.

    3) Fuckface McNutt — You may now rim a monkey in Macy’s window. You know you want to.

  22. fistinyoface…i extend the same offer i gave fuckface….anytime you wanna play meet me on 47th and mad… we can start a little pool on it if you want. ill show you just how pussy i am mutha fucka. lets do this.

  23. Brian,

    Thanks for the link, seriously. I’m glad I read it.

    Although section 768 of the Bill may be said, by many, to play an insignificant part of the proposal, it shouldn’t be overlooked. It is important and Obama’s vote against it speaks volumes.


    (a) Requirement- The Government of the United States shall preserve and enhance the role of English as the common and unifying language of America.

    (b) Relationship to Other Laws- Nothing in this section may be construed to diminish or expand any existing right under Federal law relative to services or materials provided by the Government of the United States in any language other than English.

    (c) Law Defined- In this this section, the term `law’ includes provisions of the United States Code and the United States Constitution, controlling judicial decisions, regulations, and controlling Presidential Executive Orders.

    By not “overwhelmingly” supporting English as the “common and unifying language of America” he opens the door to the possibility that he could support something other than English as the “Official and only” language of the United States.

    You are clearly too smart to be fooled by their suggestion that this portion of the Bill was insignigicant.

  24. You said: Plus you’re in America, so speak American, douche. Ummm…I hate to inform your dumb ass, but we do not speak American, we are American and we speak English.

    You take a report!

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