The real “OC”

My wife and I went to dinner with another couple on Friday night. The meal was terrible, and afterwards we went into the restaurant bar for a nightcap before going home and releasing our babysitters back into captivity. It was our first time venturing into what unbeknownst to us, was a popular “cougar” hangout, and it was pretty entertaining to watch older women in inappropriately tight outfits, and unbelievably orange skin sit there and get hit on guys with dyed hair and “snug” pants (I counted at least 7 “manginas”).

Got me thinking… Who was the original cougar?… or “OC”, as I will refer to it from here on. I have a few suggestions, but you can certainly feel free to post your own in the comment field. I’m thinking these women are all AFTP’s but with a much older and sluttier feel.


This first one was mentioned to me by a buddy a couple weeks ago, and I have no idea if she is even still alive… Remember that older whore on Three’s Company who lived in the same building, and was always trying to bang Jack?

Her character’s name was Lana, she had a big old sloppy rack and couldn’t give a fuck less if John Ritter’s character was really gay or not. She just wanted to sip the juice.

In retrospect, she was fucking TERRIBLE looking. But back then she had a “naughty-older-woman-thing” going on that was extreeeeemely exciting to an overweight pre-teen.


The second was Dean Wormer’s wife from Animal House… Who I think was modeled after Ann Bancroft’s character from The Graduate. The way she downed vodka, and then banged Otter is basically the recipe for a textbook Friday night of the modern day cougar.

The third and final was the older blond cop with the big bombs in Police Academy… What a fucking pig. But clearly she fits the category of OC to a tee.

Who did I miss?

118 Replies to “The real “OC””

  1. Mona from “Who’s The Boss”, Im ashamed of myself.

    [It’s okay, Dickie, you’re in a safe place.

    Geez, how many times have I said that before?]

  2. The obvious choice to me would have to be Mrs. Robinson….

    But dont forget Sally Kellerman in Back to School.

  3. I think Katie Couric is bangin some LAX stick touting, triathlete, douchebag from some Ivy school, while her husband turns in his grave, it was in the NY Post a few months back with the Headline Katie Cougar…gotta love the NY Post…i’m sure if someone dug around they can find the link to that headline, i’m just too lazy to do it

  4. how about that movie whats eating gilbert grape…. johnny depp would deliver that old bag her groceries and then bang her on her kitchen table as payment… def OC

  5. hey john cocktosten – remember gail satnwyk? she’s a cougar and then some – took many reports with her as a youngster

  6. Catwoman. The one(s) from the Adam West, real people series on TV back in the 70’s. There was always that sexual tension between Batman and Catwoman one he finally caught her in the midst of her Current Criminal Caper. She had to be balling someone as part of the B Plot.

  7. Loverboy w Patrick Dempsey….he bangs many a cougar in that flick. He works as a pizza delivery boy & when these cougars order a certain pizza….it’s game time.

  8. Last American Virgin…Carmela the spanish cougar who’s sailor husband is never home. She fucks two out of the three of those teenage kids….”Come to me, my big burrito!”. Classic.

  9. How bout the liberal beeeotch in Bull Durham? When she was with the Shawshank douche, not the Waterworld douche…….

  10. flo from alice. exact same story as lana from threes company, shes a fucking mess but every guy on the show either wanted to or had banged her.

  11. For old school cougar – Mrs. Robinson would get my vote.

    80’s cougar – how about Susan Sarandon’s character in Bull Durham?

    Modern Day Cougar: Demi Moore. TAFR.

  12. Erin Gray when she was on Silver Spoons. Though she was hottest in that white uniform on Buck Rogers. Maybe not the original, but definitely a hot cougar worth mention.

  13. Gotta say and this is weird, but i always had something for the animal house chick, cant say what it is, and the fact that i gave myself many reports, i in fact may have reported to her. MY cougar now is that chick from 8 is enough, had a weird mouth Kristy something i think

  14. hands down, Bo Derek! the scene from tommy boy when she’s coming out of the pool.. grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

  15. which animal house chick? katy, boon’s lady? fawn liebowitz’s roommate? mandy pepperidge? Mrs. Wormer? the mayor’s daughter? Babs? they’re all cougars for the readers of this board

  16. Remember that nasty old landlord that Woody Harrelson’s character nailed in Kingpin? That’s a durty cougar!

  17. what about that chick blanch from golden girls? yea thats right, i used to watch golden girls, what the fuck about it, both my grandmas died before i was born. plus that short old one was pretty funny.

  18. going way back-Elizabeth Monygomery on Bewitched. The former Miss America on Lost in Space, Jane something.

    I am a buyer of Dean Wormers wife. Huge sexual frustration to appease there.

    [Sold! (just gotta pry Winona off of her…)]

  19. One of the best 80s cougars was Jacqueline Bisset in the movie “Class”; she played the Rob Lowe character’s hot Mom who banged the Andrew McCarthy character in the elevator.

  20. The Golden Girls were filthy ho-bags. How many miles of cock do you think that dirty trio put on the tape?

  21. a nice lil cougar haunt is the coloumns in Avon , it’s like jurasstic park , nuttin better then 20 buds , a few bat’s and hot 60 yr old on the hog

  22. I just recently figured out that the landlady from Kingpin was also Magda, that first basemen’s mit, from There’s Something About Mary. Tough type-casting.

  23. The Golden Girls definitely gobbled their share of cock, especially that one skankler…I think they kept to their own age group though, therefore, eliminating them from the cougar discussion.

  24. Coming from the rocky mountain region, I gotta go with Bryce Kellog, that hot rich british babe from the 90’s classic “Aspen Extreme.”

  25. I’m going off the board and saying Cher – she dated that ‘bagel guy’ for a while (Rob Camilletti?) way before others were doing that… I vote Cher – even though she is hideous.

  26. how about meredith baxter? i think i heard alex p. keaton was conducting all sorts of business with his on-stage mother.

  27. Shannon Tweed in that movie she played the tutor in. J Colins in Dynasty I def shreded myself to on VHS…sad. Cheese pls dont bust my balls about being old. This is a site dominated by guys that are 10yrs older than you. Deal with it.

  28. carmela soprano had a cougar thing going for a while. Tonys nephew had to flee back to the old country, never worked out for her though. I’d say the current Mrs. John Gotti is quite the cougar too. I guess its a rule of thumb if your husband is a jailed for life or dead mobster.

  29. Greg Brady(Barry Williams) was banging Mrs. Brady(Florence Henderson)off the set. BONUS:

    [No bonus, bad link.]

  30. I might have missed it in the comments above but I have to ask..

    What is the name of the COUGAR BAR..?

    ROOTS in Summit, NJ is TOP NOTCH cougar hunting… please feel free to share any other spots..

  31. In my late 20’s before I was married I nailed a woman in her late 40’s at a business conference. It was in my top 3, ever.

    Anyway she was very “Heather Locklear” who in fact is the greatest cougar ever.

  32. As for me, I would have liked to have loofah’d Judge Smails’ wife’s stretch marks before I left a report on her freshly-showered balloon knot.

  33. Rothmann’s on Long Island…. rich cougar heaven. Until Blackstone took many of them away. Honu in Huntington always works and Lindsay Lohan even shows up for “Cougar-in-training” lessons from her mom’s friends. She’s on track to be the greatest cougar ever. Hell, she might be the first pre-30 cougar to exist.

  34. Geez, I posted that and saw Rothmann’s pop up in the post before. Since Blackstone and Sagamore are both same owners, we should just call them up and figure out what kind of cougar bait it is they lace the aged beef with.

  35. LANA is ANAL backwards….whata about Dorn’s wife in MAJOR LEAGUE who took down Ricky Vaugh out of spite. … Did that old blond mutt on MASH ever blow Radar ? What about the red head for TAXI-she must have relieved Tony Danza……….actually: the old fuck from WHO’s the BOSS ??? She is the original cougar–b4 TVs were even invented.

  36. loretta switt in M*A*S*H, shelly long in cheers, sharon gless in cagney and lacey (sorry tyne daly), linda evans in dynasty, morgan fairchild in falcon crest, connie selleca in hotel, merideth baxter birney in family ties, shelley fabres in coach, joanna kerns in growing pains, susan st james in kate & ally (sorry jane curtin), mel harris from 30something.

  37. dude… dorns wife was smokin hot…

    veg head: by the way i didnt catch your name
    mrs dorn: its suzanne, suzanne dorn
    veg head: suzanne dorn??!?!?!
    mrs dorn: Mrs roger dorn… so long your a great kid

    now only if all cougars called you a great kid after banging the hell out of you

  38. Burton and Doyle in Great Neck, Rothmann’s in East Noriwch, Barcelona in Greenwich. opposite phenomenon at Bareli’s in Secaucuson Rt 3 in NJ. Older men with younger wh-res

  39. what about ethel from I love Lucy that rusty old nail was good to go always looking to take Ricky down

  40. Borderline sexual predator, but my favorite Cougar of my early pubescent life… Sylvia Kristel in the Showtime/Skinimax favorite from 1982… Private Lessons. Yeah, the kid was only 15, but she had a great – pre-implant rack – and voluptuous lips, not to mention the sleepy bedroom brown eyes… took many early reports to that one – late night, when the folks were asleep. And who could forget the memorable performances by Howard Hessman (the chauffeur), and Ed Begley, Jr.

  41. Mona from Who’s The Boss… That cougar was gagging for it.. or was she too old for a cougar ?? maybe call her the Jaguar

  42. Clowns:

    You don’t get it. A cougar is not just any older, hot, horny woman like Bo Derek or Nina Hartley. As Forrest Gump would say, and I want you to take an extra half hit of your Ritalin and pay close attention here, “Cougar is as Cougar does.” What that means is, “Cougar” is a behavior, not a demographic. Dean Wormer’s wife, by flirting with Otter in the supermarket produce isle, then bedding him at the toga party after getting gassed elsewhere, is a cougar based on that “predatory” behavior. Heather Locklear? No way, unless she bangs that Spencer Pratt tool. Just as a guy that wakes up spooning another guy is gay, a woman who identifies, hunts down, and fucks a younger, less wealthy, naïve guy then takes him to brunch followed by shopping for $500 jeans is a cougar. See Demi, Aniston, Liz Taylor, Halle Berry, Madonna (with that Puerto Rican guy), and J-Lo (TAR Affleck).

  43. Pam Grier. All you honky white bitches want your childhood sweet hearts. Mine was chocolate thunder. White reports on a black canvas. And S the D !

  44. Does any hot older women automatically qualifiy…

    I think of cougar. . I think older woman actively looking to take down a younger guy…

    Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina defines the word these days… as does Demi Moore..

    Still waiting for Large to tell us the cougar spot he went to the other night..

  45. Don’t forget about a model coug. Karen Caye from My Tutor in 1983. She takes down the kid she teaches french to. Erin Gray in Buck Rodgers was also mighty fine. Rick Schroeder got a look se later for sure.

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