Take A Report

Jenna Jameson is teaching a class at her local Community College… It’s called “Loads 101: How to make them and what to do with them”.

Take a report.

-Large

Porn superstar, Jenna Jameson announced her retirement from the porn industry last week. ‘Bout fucking time.

Maybe she could start doing ads for Jameson Whiskey… “Cheap hooch for cheap cooch.”

I believe the straw that broke this camel’s back was that botched vaginoplasty she had last year. You can’t be a plumber without a good wrench, and you can’t be a pornstar with genitals that look like a raw cornish game hen.

Either way, I have a question… How many loads do you think this pig was responsible for? Ten thousand? A hundred thousand? A MILLION?!?!… It boggles the mind. I mean we show alot of scattered tail here on takeareport.com. And we certainly imply that every girl shown is more promiscuous than the next. But you think that Papa Jameson had any idea when he held his infant daughter for the first time that she would eventually bust more nuts than the good people at Planter’s?

Take a report.

-Large

This is a picture of Jenna Jameson, and apparently she’s sharing the inside of a pastrami sandwich with her boyfriend, Tito Ortiz.

I haven’t seen that much tongue since Summer Camp!

Tito, in case you didn’t know, is an Ultimate Fighting champion. Little does he know that his “ultimate fight” is yet to come. And (at the very least) it’ll be against genital warts.

Good luck bro.

Take a report.

-Large

With Jenna Jameson careening towards death, it looks like Tera Patrick will pick up the mantle as “mainstream porn chick.”

I’m sure she’s ready to assume that position, as I’m equally sure it
will be one of the easier “positions” she’s assumed… and also one of
the few that don’t require her getting covered in protein.

Good for you, you filthy slut.

Tear Patrick, take a fu-ca-king report!

-Large

That’s a shot of Jenna Jameson at the beach.

Man! Did her lifestyle catch up with her quick!

She used to possess a charm that transcended porn. A sultry likeability that allowed the public to overlook all the cock she had handled in her day. She was even in an Adidas commercial last year… Not a lot of adult stars can say that.

But it looks like that marketability has come to a screeching halt. She’s broken down and finally looks like the cum receptacle she’s been for the past decade or so. I wouldn’t hire her for a handob, much less an ad campaign.

Only proves the old Amish expression - “Swallow a thousand stray loads and you die.” (The Amish are traditionally a very “blunt” culture)

I wouldn’t go buying any green bananas if I were you, Jenna. Something tells me you’ll be in a box by Christmas.

Take an HIV riddled report.

-Large