Take A Report

Ass(hole) From the Past, not to be confused with AssFromThePast, of course.

From HERO to ZERO.

Below Left: Some friends clowning around in more carefree days.  Below Right: some idiot’s homage to Attorney General Eliot Spitzer in 2003.  Some of those Spitzer persecuted - excuse me - prosecuted had daughters, too. 

Dug the card up from Newscopy.org .- an infrequently updated political website.  The site’s latest post is titled: Spitzer On State Budget Woes: It’s Wall Street’s Fault, Jan 23, 2008. Really? Interesting. Here’s one for just for you, Spitz: TAR on Jailhouse Woes: prison buttsex is not only free, it’s mandatory.

 - admin

 ** Special TAR thanks to JD **

Client, Client number 9.
Ran his girl down the Washington line.
His hooker train then jumped the track,
Go to jail, Sheriff, don’t come back.

” Ladies, many of our clients are Harvard Law grads who, naturally, tend to have gigantic shlongs.  But should your customer pack a  noodle, just call him a giant stud anyway - like we do with Client #9.  He is a demanding client.  Tough, yet fair.”

Kristen Achee, your 5 minutes are up. Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the floor is yours. Go nuts.

Here’s a not so famous soul Katie or Kalia Dee (doesn’t matter she still = -2 Diamonds) who is on Ashley’s MySpace page and contemplating prostitution.

Her words: I am so sorry about the situation you have found yourself in. I don’t even know how I stumbled on to your Myspace. I am a 23 year old girl who has thought about doing what you did with Emperor’s Club …Have you ever read or watched the Secret?… my email is kalia07dee@yahoo.com.

Perhaps an informed email from a life-hardened TARbaby can help reveal the obvious ”Secret” for Katie: namely that rivers will flow backwards before rich guys start paying Gucci handbag/St. Bart’s vacationing kind of money to be with alone her.  A cautioning “say no to crack” email wouldn’t hurt, either. 

Retails for $5500. Fire away…

Was Kristin a cheerleader?

Keep emailing TAR with tips and Spitzer info. We’re sorting and trying to verify through some extremely interesting stuff.

SAME GIRL OR…

Lemme talk to the ladies for a sec…

Is there any reason why Silda Spitzer would not leave her husband right now? I mean, wouldn’t it be great to have her push aside Eliot at the press-conference podium and say, “Unlike that spineless cooze, Hillary, I am leaving this deviant head-case ASAP, and I’m taking with me MORE THAN HALF of everything he owns.”

I’m sure my wife would leave me for a lot less, mainly because she has told me that she would leave me for a lot less, and also because I know she has some self-respect. If this chick stands by her man, then she deserves everything she gets.

Take a report.

-Large

First black Governor of New York?… I got no beef with that.

First legally blind governor?… HUGE problem.

This city’s in shambles, and they expect it’s gonna get run by a guy who doesn’t even know if they give him the right change at 7-11? I’m telling you right now, I won’t stand for it. This is just the type of thing that’s gonna give other blind people confidence to contribute to society. And the next thing you know, I’ll be steppin’ over a half dozen seeing eye dogs every time I go to use a fucking elevator.

Classic case of the blind leading the stupid.

I knew this would happen once women and minorities were given the right to vote… I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

DAMN YOU SPITZER!!!

Take a report.

-Large

Well, adios Spitzer. Instead of becoming the first Jewish President Spitzer you became, at $5500 per report, the first Jewish guy to pay retail. If you weren’t a merciless, self-serving hypocrite of the highest order, I might have thought it a shame. Bye, bye dickhead.