Take A Report

Not a big NFL guy (which I think most of you know already), but I gotta mention one more thing in the wake of the NY Giants upset win over the Pats… When did all the Boston sport fans turn into such gashes? And this isn’t gonna be a “shit on Boston” piece because even though I am happy for Giant fans in general, I am quite indifferent towards the team itself. Truth be told, I think Tom Coughlin, Mike Strahan, and Jeremy Shockey are all douchebags in their own special way. And I die a little bit every time I think each of them is getting a championship ring. My only solace comes from watching Tiki trying to maintain his toothy grin through another cooking segment while the rest of his teammates are shaking hands with Bush in the White House.

But back to Boston. Where’s the fucking blind, drunken anger that we have come to expect from that fine city? I read my fair share of blogs, and I’ve seen very little stream of conscience blathering like- “Manning’s mother a whore!” or “Strahan takes it in the ass!”… Instead I am getting a much more watered down- “Well, they were the better team that night.” or “This loss stings, but we’ll be back.”… What the fuck is that about?

Maybe Bostonites are getting soft… Reading too much Sports Guy, and getting all weepy on stories on how Bill Simmons and his dad sat next to Red Auerbach once eating steak tidbits at The Ninety Nine, but where’s the fun in that? Or maybe they are getting too used to winning championships. Either way, I would still like to hear a Dennis Leary-esque “Fuck you!” towards the Giants and everyone who follows them. It would just feel right.

So man-the-fuck-up, Boston. Being Irish and angry is nothing to be embarrassed about. It should be embraced. It’s your fucking birthright for Christ-sake. If I wanted to see a bunch of gracious losers, I would watch American Idol. This is fucking football, and you lost to the “Evil-Empire”. Get loud and obnoxious. Fill a couple of those duck boats with dog shit, light ‘em on fire, and send them down the fucking Hudson.

Otherwise you can grab onto Eli Manning’s belt loop, and let him parade you around “the yard” like the prison-bitches you’re turning into.

Your call.

Take a report.

-Large

CNN reporting that Archie Manning is now selling vials of his semen for $5,000 a pop… Or for 10 grand and a plane ticket, he will “direct deposit” into the woman of your choice.

Take a report.

-Large