Take A Report

Did you miss it?

I’m pretty sure this guy didn’t.

Take a report.

-Large

Sure, sweetheart… Throw up the heavy metal horns. But keep in mind that your back is covered with the remnants of Jello shots (at least I think that’s what it is), your being dry-humped by the co-captain of the fencing team who has the pre-requisite “White-Man’s Overbite” dance style, and his roommate with the Old Navy shirt-of-the-week is getting a free grope.

Rock on and take a report.

-Large

Some asshole pierced his ankle…

And it’s not like he got shot in a random drive-by and then decided to keep the wound open with a grenade pin to commemorate all his homies who were lost to gang violence… That would be cool. This taint went to some underground Piercing/Tattoo/Branding Shoppe, and had his fucking ankle pierced.

I remember when I was a teenager, my Dad said if I ever came home with an earring, he would rip it out… I wonder what the old man would’ve done if I came home with this.

— SIDEBAR: Not sure why I used the term “old man” in that last sentence in reference to my father… He deserves better than that, and even if he is “older”, I’m pretty confident he could still whip my fat ass. Sorry, Dad. —

But back to this whole piercing craze. Just stop it, kids… It’s getting out of fucking control, and you look like morons.

Take a report.

-Large

have you seen…

Dungaree bikini?… Don’t see many of them anymore. She somehow pulls it off though, don’t you think?

Take a report.

-Large

With 9/11 fast approaching, I have a small observation.

I took the PATH train into the World Trade Center Station last week, and that was the first time I’ve had to do that since the towers came down. Now maybe I’m just an overly emotional guy, but that train now runs through what I should realize is a construction site, but what my mind still sees as some sort of archeological dig. For all the time and money that’s been pumped into the new construction, there really hasn’t been much progress. And as a result, the PATH runs right through a scene that is awfully reminiscent of the rescue effort back in 2001.

Is it too Pollyanna’ish to think maybe they should construct some sort of make-shift tunnel that’s plastered with murals and shit right up until the time the train pulls into the platform… Just so commuters don’t get a daily reminder of the destruction that took place?

And one other thing… Why isn’t 9/11 a national holiday yet? Wouldn’t it be nice, especially for the thousands of us who work(ed) downtown, to spend that day with our families remembering how lucky we were to get out of that place alive?

Just a thought.

Take a report.

-Large

Take a report.

-Large

These two morons are father and son.

48 year-old Floyd Bebee has “Git-R-Dun” tattooed on his forehead, and “Got-R-Did” on the back of his seemingly empty head.

And while it is easy to appreciate the “Psycho” tat on 21 year-old Justin Bebee’s head, what we cant view is that this little freak has the words “FUCK” and “YOU” tattooed on his eyelids. Makes me wonder how many times this fucking dope has woken up in a methamphetamine stupor, looked in the mirror, and gasped for a split-second at the possibility he had “ohcysP” tattooed across his face.

For all the racist bullshit I post (in jest) on this site, there’s still one fact that remains true:

Take a report.

-Large

This monster must be tough to dry, no? I don’t think that little towel is going to be enough.

Take a report.

-Large