Take A Report

You ever meet someone who’s name just doesn’t go with either their looks or personality?

And I know I got lucky with my parents naming me “Large”, and all. But keep in mind that I was a very big newborn (14 pounds 6 ounces), so I think they knew I was genetically predisposed to be a man of considerable size.

But how about these 2 Girls-I-Found-Today?

The first is Sarah Mutch, and I don’t know alot about her, but she doesn’t strike me as a “Mutch”… She looks more like a “Destiny Romijn Fritana”, or something.

And the second is Michele Merkin, which is unique because I believe a “merkin” is a pubic wig…

What’s ironic here is that from this angle it seems that Michele has gone through great efforts to rid herself of any pubic hair even though she is named after a replacement of just that sort of thing. Still, it must make her family proud that she has kept her real name. So you could go as far as to say she is…

Have a good weekend everybody, and don’t forget to take your reports.

-Large

Not an Olympian. Never threw the javelin. Doesn’t even know she won the gold at TAR’s Bikini Olympics. My kind of girl.

-admin

Thought this might be a good Friday picture.

There’s the obvious “cheesecake” smack dab in the middle… Eyebrows darker than any other hair on her body, and juuuuust a touch of gangrene developing around the belly-button ring.

But check out the pink walls and creepy-ass framed Winnie The Pooh poster in the background. Definitely not the Hamptons… She just doesn’t seem annoying enough to be from Long Island. I’m going either Brooklyn or Jersey Shore.

Take a report.

-Large

Summer is almost over… And thank God for that. I’m just not built for the heat. But for all of you sun-worshipers out there, this Girl-I-Found-Today is for you…

Her name is Summer Altice (Playboy’s Miss August 2000), and she’s a beautiful, bisexual model who is plastered all over the internet. So poke around, and get back to me.

Take a report.

-Large

***And no porn links, thanks. ***

With the Summer Olympics less than a week away, I’d be remiss if I didn’t give you the inside track on who to watch.

There is a 20 year-old sister-synchronized-swimming-duo named Bia and Branca Feres from Brazil who I’m hearing good things about. And to prime you for their routine, heres a couple of highlight shots from their lives outside of the pool…

And you all know I’m as patriotic as Yankee-Doodle-Fucking-Dandy, but I urge you all to really pull for Brazil in this one category… And mainly because here’s what the American Team looks like…

Take a report.

-Large

The Girl-I-Found-Today is Bianca Beauchamp…

She’s a Canadian fetish model who specializes in latex pictorials… And I’m guessing you don’t have alot of them floating around your office.

Enjoy, and take a report.

-Large

YELLOW: “And then he told me his name was ‘Admin’ and said that we should go out sometime!”

RED: “Eww! Was he serious?… I wouldn’t let him clean my pool!”

YELLOW: “Totally… Oh well, let’s go back to the blanket and make fun of fat people.”

Take a report.

-Large

The Girl-I-Found-Today is model/actress Lola Luv.

She’s a beautiful young urbanite who also happens to have “cheeks for weeks”…

Enjoy, and take a report.

-Large