Take A Report

Guess who’s back?
Back again.
Stokkk-ee’s back.
Tell a friend.

Looks like our old friend Allison Stokke is successfully navigating her way around the “Freshman 15″ (that’s pounds gained by the average girl at college freshman year, not reports taken - otherwise it would be the “Freshman 95″).

Keep working that pole, Sweetheart… The world is watching.

Take a report.

-Large

** special TAR thanks to ‘danger’ and to the always fit and fabulous Herbie Versmells, whose link was squelched due to this impending post

Haven’t shown you in a while, but don’t think for a second that I’ve
forgotten about you, Allison.

See you in my dreams, you pole-vaulting angel, you.

Take a report.

-Large

18 year old high-school pole vaulting sensation Allison Stokke continues
to express her disappointment with all the media attention she has gotten as of late.  But the thing is, she is complaining in this month’s
edition of Glamour magazine, and also by doing a radio spot on ESPN
morning radio.

Way to keep a low profile, Allison. 

And, by the way, the rack looks fantastic!

Take a report.

-Large

Dear fat chicks,

I was just kidding about the ban.  Were it not for your love and support I’d be a virgin. 

So to all the sexy swimwear models who’ve yet to ride the Vanilla Gorilla, take a fucking report. 

- Admin

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you cant pick who 18 year old pole-vaulting sensation Allison Stokke is dating.  Don’t know much about this young man, but I do know 2 things: 1)He’s a douche… and 2)I fucking HATE him.

I’m hoping this is some sort of Make-A-Wish Foundation Event, and she is only cuddling this tool because he is terminally riddled with typhoid or maybe something that isn’t catching. 

By the way, I hear this ass-hair goes to USC… Whatta shocker!

Dude, count your lucky stars ’cause you are WAY out of your league, and take a fucking report.

-Large

Couple of loyal readers sent me a recent story.  Seems18 year old
pole-vaulting sensation, Allison Stokke, is overcome with unwanted
attention after her picture turned up all around the Internet. 

Tough. 

You’re stunning, and you’re 18.  If you don’t like all the attention,
then gain weight.  I have a sister who looks just like me, but with
slightly more hair, and she’s never been Googled in any sense of the
word.

“Even if none of it is illegal, it just all feels really demeaning,”
Stokke told the Newport Beach Post. “I worked so hard for pole vaulting
and it’s almost like that doesn’t matter. Nobody sees that. Nobody
really sees me.”  I disagree.  I see you.  And when you wind up
“Penthouse Pet of the Year 2015″, I’m gonna say I knew you when.

Until then, cutie-pie, enjoy the pix and take a report.

-Large

This Memorial Day Weekend marks the beginning of the “Summer Driving Season”, and, on a marginally related note, it turns out teenage pole-vaulting sensation Allison Stokke pumps her own gas.  (See the connection?)

Yeah, you pump that gas… you dirty little pole-vaulter.  You pump that gas goooooood.

Have a great weekend everybody, and Large, get another hobby and take a report.

-Large

I don’t hate baseball or hockey, but the only sports I follow religiously are college football and hoops, so traditionally these months after March Madness and before Gameday Saturdays leave me with nothing to watch.

Until now.

I found another outlet.  One that I can devote almost all my time to.  One that I can think about when I’m alone in the shower.  It’s college pole vaulting, or more specifically, college pole vaulting that involves
University of California Freshman Allison Stokke (rhymes with “poke”).

Keep it up, Allison… I’m sure every guy who sees this picture will be “pulling” for you this season.

Dirty old bloggers obsessing over college girls… Take a fucking report!

-Large